Day 107: Revelations

I’ve been doing the happy dance a lot this week.

I finished my first eight sessions of personal training and signed up for forty more. I have never worked out this well and this hard. It’s true what they say about exercise-based euphoria, because I experience it every Tuesday and Friday. It’s a revelation.

I’ve completed four weeks of eating like a thin person and have lost eight pounds. I’m right on target at two pounds a week. I’ve also found that having protein shakes made with fruit helps me to get through the witching hours of 11:00 am and 4:00 pm. I no longer feel as though I could eat my arm, and a result, I’m not snacking on bad stuff while driving home or preparing dinner. I feel victorious over a demon that has ruled my life for many years.

I went through all of my clothing and separated out the “fits” from the “doesn’t fits.” I made a stack of “I never wear this” stuff to give to Amvets next week, and then I put only those pieces of clothing that actually fit back into my closet. I’ll save the “doesn’t fits” for later this fall and winter as I reduce back into them. Or I’ll give them away when I find that they don’t fit my new lifestyle or outlook on life!

I’ve made some positive steps forward toward a new career in travel. I’m feeling (almost) capable of reserving and ticketing an airline ticket and I’m signed up for the Incentive Travel Show in October, where I’ll make some connections with people who want me to use their services or book their hotels in England. With the exception of the current issues with American Airlines, which worry me, I’m feeling really pumped about my future as a custom tours travel agent.

There’s also something I’m happy about that’s not such as clear-cut as losing weight and learning a new trade.

It all started at happy hour last week with my former colleagues when I found out that my work nemesis not only “quit,” she was escorted out of the building. Although I’m not usually one to dwell on the past, lingering resentment over unfair treatment and a tarnishing of what was previously a good reputation has followed me for six years. I have to admit it made me happy to know that there is karma in the world.

I’ve been listening to a good book in the car, and yesterday, the climax of the book was really relatable to my situation. The main character finds that the anger she’s been carrying around for twenty years is corrosive and it is time to let it go. Even though I’m retired and no longer in the toxic situation, I’ve continued to carry my own resentment about my former boss and it hasn’t been good for me. Since I’m not with my work friends every day, the resentment has been under the surface, but it was still there, eating away at my soul. Just the act of writing this down is freeing — I’m done with all that and I don’t need to think about it again.

And now it’s time for me to move on too. I’m a blank slate and a clean book ready for a new story.

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2 responses

  1. Yes, what goes around, comes around. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a long time for you to see it.

    Congrats on your new eating plan – is it something you feel you can live with for life?

    Definitely, the exercises kick in your endorphins and you do get an “exercise high”. You will feel “out of it” & crabby (or at least I do) if you don’t exercise according to whatever schedule you set up. Your body really will crave the movement.

  2. My mom had an saying “the sands of time grind exceedingly slow but exceedingly fine”. Goes along with what Deb W. wrote above on things going around.

    Yeah – sorting out/getting rid of clothes is fun and cathartic with weight loss. I love the feeling when pants that were too tight have some give now.

    Getting my work suits out of my closet was my retirement cathartic exercise. Bye bye to those classic blazers !! May you have a wonderful life in whatever office you end up in next.

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